Hey There! I hope you are having a lovely week so far! Today I want to talk about a hot topic that has been coming up quite frequently with my clients and that’s struggling with their spouse sabotaging their fitness efforts. Unintentionally for the most part.
When I first meet with a client or even during our weekly check-in’s we discuss the possibility of setbacks and anything that might hold them back from making progress that needs to be addressed. The topic of spouses making eating situations more difficult and I will take it a step further and say it’s also friends, coworkers and other members of the family that do this too! But I will stick to spouses or significant others for today’s blog post.
Maybe you can relate and have had these situations come up in your relationship or maybe have even done it yourself to your significant other.
My feelings are hurt because you won’t eat the food that I cook.
You look fine and don’t need to lose any weight.
What’s the big deal it’s just one meal.
Well if you’re not going to eat that then I’m not either!
You’re not being supportive because you’re not eating healthy with me.
You shouldn’t be eating that because you are trying to lose weight- spouse snatches food out of hand. YIKES!!
This blog post was actually spurred on by a recent online client who shared with me that her workouts were going amazingly well. She loved the new programming and intensity which was quite a switch from what she was doing with her previous trainer. But when I asked her how her nutrition was going she sounded really sad and discouraged because her husband would get offended if she didn’t eat what he cooked. She didn’t want to offend him or make him mad so she would eat it but every meal stressed her out.
I’ve heard many more stories like this. It shouldn’t and doesn’t have to be this way. There is a simple fix. More on that in a bit.
I even have a funny story of my own to share. My husband and I were having a hard time trying to decide where to eat dinner, as we do and ended up at a mexican restaurant. I made the decision to not eat chips and guacamole because I am an all or nothing girl. I either eat #allthe chips or none! So I decided to stick to a glass of wine (duh) and a big salad with grilled shrimp. My husband asked why I didn’t want the chips and dip and then he said he wasn’t going to have any either. I told him it wouldn’t bother me if he did. So after some debating back and forth no guac and chips were ordered and he then said, why didn’t you tell me this so we could have eaten somewhere else? I giggled and we moved on. He knows me by now and my little weird food rules I have for myself.
The reason why he knows this is because I told him. This is exactly what I tell my clients to do as well. But! Before you do this I believe that you should own your choices. Decide how you are going to stick to your nutrition rules that you set for yourself and own it not matter who you are with and where you go! If someone else (even your spouse) does not to abide by your food rules then that’s fine. It’s your health not theirs. Maybe a little tough love but it’s true!
If you are struggling with a spouse or significant other who is unintentionally sabotaging your weight loss efforts then this is what I suggest you do.
Tell them! You are doing yourself a big injustice if you assume everyone is going to be on board or even know what your goals are. Have a real heart to heart conversation about why it’s so important to you to eat healthier and that you would love their support and help in anyway that they can offer it but do not expect them to join you unless they want to. No judgement and no pressure from either of you.
Find a support system! Surround yourself with friends and family or even hiring a trainer that do ‘get It’ will make your fitness journey so much more enjoyable and successful. This way you don’t feel like you are all alone in this or know that you are not the only one experiencing these struggles too because let’s face it, we all have at some point 🙂
I know this sounds easier said than done but it works.
I would love for you to reach out to me and share your experiences if you ever had to deal with this touchy subject and how you handled it!
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